A Really Tenuous Fairground Analogy: Why Networking is Like a Ride on the Bumper Cars

Like being denied an ice cream from the van 'because there's choc ices in the freezer', or opening your lunch box to reveal, not a deliciously moreish Penguin biscuit, but a piece of soggy fruit,  there are few things less soul destroying as a kid than the two words my fingers are about to type: 'NO BUMPING!'.

Picture the scene for a second: you've queued up for what feels like an eternity at the fairground. You've selected your bumper car - a fine sparkly number in the colour red - and you've had a sly look round to ascertain where your mates are. The whistle is blown and you're off! And in a bid to wipe the cheeky little smile off your pal's face, you've delivered a stomach-churning bump of epic proportions.

Just like that, though, the fun is brought to a miserable halt. A wooden board featuring nine measly characters is held up, along with an accompanying shriek from the red-faced ride attendant. You swiftly realise that you're not on the bumper cars, like you first thought, but the dodgems.

My point? As a kid, you no doubt relished the chance to get stuck in, bumping into all and sundry and having a right good time at it. No one liked dodgems, spoiling all the fun...

I reckon, when it comes to networking events (and here comes the tenuous analogy. I made a quip about no one liking dodgems the other week and my boss challenged me to make a blog out of it) you've really got to embrace your inner bumper car. You get nowhere from being (the proverbial) dodgem. Everyone knows that.

For months - years even - I've put off getting along to a local networking event as I 'just didn't think it'd be for me'. I was wrong. Sure, the work didn't come rolling in after my very first session. But I made some new pals, met a lady from a local salon who sent me some high end hair products to review on my beauty blog, and picked up a couple of new work leads. And I got to enjoy coffee and cake, too - result!

Had I chose to be a 'dodgem', as usual, I'd have probably stayed at home, popped on the telly and had a little moan about my lack of work. Give it a go, too. And next time you're at the fair, stride past the sign for the dodgems. They're not nearly as fun as the real thing. And sitting watching Gogglebox isn't nearly as entertaining as interacting with actual people.

Right, I'm off to get an ice cream cone from the van, and swap tomorrow's soggy office lunch 'treat' for a Penguin.

Until next time....

Telly Addict? Here's How Watching X Factor Can Improve Your Copy

With the clocks going back this weekend, I know what I'm looking forward to doing: curling up on a sofa under a duvet and a mug of something warm and frothy in my hand. Preferably with added Flake.

And do you know what? Time spent watching Saturday night telly isn't wasted, in my opinion. Just last week, I explained why over on Sarah Holbrook's blog.

A fellow Huddersfield-based lady, Sarah's site - Working InSync - offers marketing solutions to businesses across Yorkshire and Humberside.

After meeting Sarah at a recent networking event - more on that subject in an upcoming blog - she asked me to put fingers to keyboard to create a blog about creating engaging copy. And here it is:

Don't forget to have a browse round Sarah's site while you're over there; she may just be able to help you, too.

Until next time...

Pies, Puds and Penis Gags: The Timeless Appeal of GBBO

Today I baked not one, but two sweet treats: Paul Hollywood's delectable chocolate and cherry muffins (seriously, give these a go!) and some ginger biscuits that came with a 'snap' Mary Berry would probably have been proud of.

But if there's one thing this year's GBBO has left me with, as well as a renewed desire to whip out my oven gloves and dust off my well-worn Cath Kidston (I know, oh so predictable for someone who likes baking, eh?) pinnie - is a real appreciation for many a copywriter's failsafe: a good, old fashioned pun.

Unlike the 'Come Dine With Mes' and 'The Apprentices of the TV world, there are few (if not, no) otherwise 'serious' programmes that, you know, don't take themselves too seriously. If you catch my drift.

Sometimes, we just want to laugh, don't we? Even if we are laughing at a sponge cake. Or chortling at a crème caramel. 

 I reckon the real appeal of The Bake Off, aside from the fact it's ridiculously - and unapologetically - British (hooray for non-US TV dominating our screens), and features cake - lots of it - is the kind of bawdy humour you'd expect only of a Carry On film.

Some may well have criticised Mel and Sue's penchant for a pun (hello, Mum!), insisting it's all a 'bit on the smutty side', while others have relished the pair's corny quips. 

Me? I can't get enough of puns. Especially those that involve puddings. And pies. And penis gags. Thanks, Mr Hollywood, for this one alone:

"You want something quite ‘rigid’, but something that will taste good too" [Paul, discussing gingerbread, surprisingly enough]

Alright, Paul. You filth bag.

Just a few days ago a fellow copywriter and good pal asked how she might omit the technical 'jargon' from some copy about an engineering firm, with the aim of making it sound a little more, well, exciting. The truth is, we all come up against challenging briefs. And there's certainly times when humour isn't called for.

Of course, I'm not about to litter my next big copywriting assignment with filth, but what I will say is GBBO has certainly proved (another baking pun - ha) the nation's love for a spot of smut. Or at the very least, just something that'll make you larf your head off.

Why can't we take a leaf out of Mel and Sue's (cookery) book and revel in our own silly sense of humour for a minute or two? If done right, a spot of humour, a jokey intro or a funny quote can really draw people into your writing - even if the copy is focusing on a relatively 'serious' matter.

Let's all stop being quite so straight-laced and break out a pun every now and then. Loaf's for living, after all.

How to Stop Procrastinating and Actually Get Stuff Done

My name is Lauren Holden and I'm (well, let's just say, I have been known to be) a procrastinator.  

Take last weekend alone. In hysterics, I was perilously close to covering my laptop with a splattering of chewed up Monster Munch. But I wasn't partaking in some strange crisp-based fetish. Oo-blimming-er. Instead, I was creasing up at yet another video of a goat in a party hat. 

OK, OK, so if I've got an important deadline on the go, I'm on it. Always. But if there's something else that needs doing (like updating this website, or writing a blog post over here) I'll find a million and one other things to do before cracking on.

A quick glance at my Facebook timeline confirms I'm far from the only one. One pal reveals that she's edging closer to the possibility of missing her second tax deadline in as many years, as a result of 'messing about online', making Spotify playlists and 'looking at pictures of cats in fancy dress'.

A Nation of Procrastinators

Apparently, we're a nation of procrastinators - with 95% of us putting off vital jobs to squander time on other less imperative tasks. A University of Calgary professor has even (after a 10-year-long wait - no joke!) published a paper on the subject.

But, guess what? You can pull yourself out of the BHoP (Black Hole of Procrastination) and actually get stuff done. Here's how I do it....

1. Plan Ahead - To ensure stuff gets done well in advance of its deadline, I plan my days like I would a school revision timetable (remember those?!). Cordon off chunks (or hours) here and there to get particular projects done, breaking off in between larger pieces of work to give yourself a five or ten-minute rest.

2. Disconnect the Internet - I can feel some of you recoiling in horror at this one, but let's face it, the Internet is a provoker of procrastination. Goats in party hats/cats in fancy dress - you name it, they'll each come between you and that deadline. Avoid the temptation and just disconnect the Internet. Failing that, just pretend you've disconnected it. 

3. Implement a 'Rewards Scheme' - Don't think Sainsbury's Nectar Points, but rather 'I'll have that coffee/chocolate bar/watch that goat video (NOT) just as soon as I've done 'X' hours' work - result!

Do you have another tip? Please share it below. Right, I'm off to watch another goat video....

Want more articles like this? Simply bookmark my blog here on the site. 

Three Ways to Get More from Interviewees

In my nine years as a journalist and copywriter (I know, I know - I'm old), I've probably interviewed more people than I've had hot dinners. OK, I don't like cooking...

The point I'm trying to make, while I'm not saying I'm the best interviewer out there, is I've certainly picked up a few tips on how not to grill someone.

Recently, I wrote a guest post on the subject for a fellow copywriter's blog. I reckoned some of the 'obstacles' I've come across in order to get a scoop for a newspaper or that killer quote for a piece of copy will no doubt have been faced by others.

With that in mind, here's just three of those tips I put together. I've shortened them too, because I know you haven't got all day to sit around reading blogs. As much as I'd like you to (oh go on, bookmark my site!).

1. Keep Calm and Carry On

You will come across 'tricky' interviewees from time to time; they may offer one-word answers, be cocky and or/rude. Trust me, I've met them all. Persevere with the interview, if possible. Being rude to your 'subject' won't result in you grabbing that scoop, it'll probably instead result in a telling off from your editor/client and an even madder you. Grit your teeth and get on with it.

2. Stay on Topic

Resist the urge to chip in during the interview - it'll only throw your interviewee (and you!) off your stride. Listen, and stick to the topic in question. If the person you're chatting to wants to offer a little anecdote here and there, let them, but only after they've answered your key questions (i.e. the ones you went there to ask in the first instance).

3. Be Prepared

While it's true you can't often beat a good old pen and paper for jotting the odd thing down, make sure you have another means of recording the interview. Take down some key facts on paper here and there, but try to record the majority of the interview digitally - it'll make for a much more interesting chat, and will ensure the conversation flows that little bit better.

Got some tips of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below. Or say hello.

Until next time…